Exploring Your Child’s Sensory Preferences

If you’ve ever wondered why your child avoids certain textures, seeks out movement constantly, or gets overwhelmed by sounds that others don’t even notice, you’re not alone.

Every person experiences the world through their senses in a slightly different way, and understanding those sensory preferences helps in making us and others feel more comfortable, safe, and regulated.

This article will guide you through what sensory preferences are, how they show up in everyday life, and how you can start identifying them in your child (or even in yourself).

Whether your child is highly sensitive to input or constantly on the move, gaining insight into their unique sensory system can help you support them with more empathy and less guesswork.

It’s important to note that this isn’t a medical diagnosis. If you have concerns about how your child reacts to some kind of sensory input — if they’re in distress or their sensory preferences are impacting their ability to participate in day-to-day life — then you might need professional help.

Occupational therapists help with figuring out the ways that people process sensory input. To access an occupational therapist, you may need to talk to your pediatrician or family doctor, depending on what country you’re in.

But as far as just trying to understand what your child’s (or your own) sensory preferences are, it’s possible to learn about sensory processing styles and explore what feels right!

Understanding the Eight Senses

Whenever we talk about the senses, we’re talking about the five senses you probably learned about in school — sound, smell, taste, sight, and touch — plus three more: vestibular sensation, proprioception, and interoception.

Vestibular Sense

The vestibular sense is the sense of balance and movement; it comes from your inner ear.

It’s the sense that controls whether you feel dizzy or motion sick, and it’s also the sense that gives you the “wheeeee!” feeling you get when you plunge down a rollercoaster drop.

Proprioception

Proprioception is your “deep body” sense, deeper than your sense of touch. Touch is felt by receptors in the skin, but proprioception comes from receptors in the joints and muscles that can feel a deeper squeeze or stretch.

These receptors give your brain a sense of where your body is at in space.

Proprioception can be subdivided into three categories:

Pressure: Pressure is like the “slow-motion” proprioception — tight, squeezy hugs, lying with a bunch of blankets on you, holding a weighted stuffed animal.
Exertion: Exertion is often called “heavy work” and involves using your muscles to lift, throw, push, pull, climb…basically anything that literally exerts your muscles.
Impact: Impact is any part of your body crashing into or impacting against something else — everything from clapping your hands, drumming, stomping, jumping, running, all the way up to full-body impact like tackling someone, jumping into a crash pad, or flopping down onto a couch.

Interoception

Interoception sense is about making meaning from the messages coming from your body.

For example, interpreting a grumbling, growling sensation from your stomach to understand that you need to eat is using your interoception.

So is interpreting a hot, burning sensation in your cheeks to understand that you feel embarrassed.

Interoception is super important, but it’s not a sensory preference; it’s more about making meaning out of what’s happening inside your body. Thus, it’s not really related to this particular article, but it’s still worth learning about!

The Seven Senses We’re Focusing On

So, that means that for this particular discussion, we’re focusing on seven senses:

Sight
Hearing
Smell
Taste
Touch
Vestibular sense (movement/balance)
Proprioception (pressure, exertion, impact)

Threshold vs. Tolerance

Two parameters affect how people feel about different sensations. One is their threshold, and the other one is their tolerance.

Threshold: The threshold is the point at which somebody notices a sensory input.
Tolerance: Tolerance is the point at which somebody is bothered by a sensory input.

Understanding the Sensory Window

For some sensations, the threshold and the tolerance are equal. For example, there is probably no amount of scratching my nails on a chalkboard that I could do that would be tolerable to you.

If you noticed that sensory input — that sound — you would immediately be bothered by it!

However, for most sensations in the world, the threshold and the tolerance are not exactly equal. The space between those two parameters can be considered the “sensory window.”

In the sensory window, a person has noticed the input, but it’s not bothering them.

Even the loveliest of sensory inputs can become bothersome with enough intensity. You might love listening to your favorite music, but if I blare it directly into your ears at maximum volume, you’ll become bothered by it.

Narrow vs. Wide Windows

Some people have very narrow sensory windows. They would need exactly the perfect, right amount of sensory input that they are noticing but aren’t bothered by.

Other people have very wide sensory windows. They can have tons and tons of the sensory input without being bothered.

Additionally, whether somebody’s sensory window is “high” or “low” can affect their feelings about the sensory input.

Four Types of Sensory Windows

Narrow + Low

If somebody’s window is both “narrow” and “low,” they have a low threshold and a low tolerance.

For example, I’ve worked with children who can hear a buzzing hum of electricity just from being seated near an electrical outlet or who get nauseated by smelling even the slightest bit of perfume or fragrance.

They have a low threshold — they notice input others might not even notice. And they have a low tolerance — that input they notice bothers them super fast.

Narrow + High

If somebody’s window is “narrow” but “high,” they have a high threshold and a low tolerance.

One of my own children is this way. He can play in water or mud and get completely, utterly sopping wet and be totally unbothered until an invisible switch flips, and suddenly, he needs to be out of those wet, muddy clothes immediately, or he’s going to lose his mind!

It took a ton of sensory input to cross his threshold, but once it did, it almost instantly flew past his tolerance level.

Wide + High

If somebody’s window is “wide” and “high,” they have a high threshold and a high tolerance. It takes a lot for them to notice input, but the input is unlikely to bother them when it does.

Sometimes I describe these children as “sensory missers“—they’re missing things in the environment that others are picking up on and are generally pretty unbothered about it.

If everyone else in the room is irritated by a flickering light or a tiny whining machinery sound, they might not have noticed at all, and even if it’s pointed out to them, they might shrug it off and tune it back out.

Wide + Low

If somebody’s window is “wide” and “low,” they have a low threshold and a high tolerance. They notice everything, and they love it! They’re drinking it all in.

These are often children who look the most intensely sensory-seeking.

They love to touch everything, see everything, hear everything, and maybe put everything in their mouth. For these children, often, to experience something is to richly enjoy it, and it would be difficult for them to ever get “too much.“

How to Use This to Learn Sensory Preferences

Understanding these parameters and how they affect how human beings feel about different sensations can help you determine your child’s sensory preferences—or your own!

Is It Simple or Complex?

Sometimes, this “figuring out” process is simple and straightforward. If you have a kid who’s pretty generally unbothered by sensory stuff and doesn’t even seem to notice it half the time, they might have a high threshold and tolerance.

If you have a kid who notices the tiniest things and is always bothered by them, they might have a low threshold and a low tolerance.

Sensory Preferences Aren’t Always the Same Across Senses

But for other people, it’s not that straightforward.

They might be one way for sound and an entirely different way for sight. Or maybe they can always pick out the scent of lavender in a room or crowd because they loathe it, but otherwise, scents don’t seem to bother or affect them that much.

Another person might feel like their window is much wider when well-rested and well-fed but gets incredibly narrow when hungry or tired.

Additionally, people have different levels of awareness about their own sensory preferences.

Building Sensory Awareness

Two children might be equally wiggly, have difficulty sitting in chairs, and love tumbling and doing somersaults, but one of them can articulate, “It just feels like my body needs to move!” while the other shrugs and says, “I dunno” or “This class is just boring“.

Teaching Awareness Is Helpful — But Not Tolerance

The rest of the information about sensory processing should never be used to try to change somebody’s sensory preferences — for example, you can’t force someone to tolerate an icky texture by just pushing them to touch it over and over again.

You don’t change their window, their tolerance, or their threshold at all; you merely teach them that you’re not a safe person to show their sensory preferences to.

But when it comes to a person’s level of awareness about themself, you can totally change that by teaching them skills to understand what’s going on for them!

Exploring What Feels Enjoyable

A really great way to do this is to explore with the intention of figuring out what is enjoyable!

This could be through doing things like a structured “sensory bin” or a questionnaire/checklist (like the Sensory Preferences Printable), or it could be much less formal.

Simply paying attention to what types of sensory experiences you, or your child, seem drawn to and which ones you stay away from gives you a lot of information about their sensory preferences.

Sensory Preferences Checklist

FREE

Discover what sensory experiences your child enjoys with this free printable Sensory Preferences Checklist.

Try a Sensory App

One “shortcut” I like to do with kids I see for occupational therapy is to let them play with an app called “Antistress.” It’s a free app that simulates many types of sensory experiences: goo you can squish, shaving cream you can swipe your finger through, fidgets you can play with, music you can create, and lights you can control.

Although these are contained within an app, and so they obviously are not truly creating the sensory experience of touching different textures, it’s a pretty good hint to me that if a child is drawn toward playing with fake, simulated gooey textures that, they might also like it if I made real gooey textures (like slime, “potions”, putty, squishy fidgets, water play…) available as well.

Understanding Baffling Behavior Through a Sensory Lens

Another thing you can do is to ask yourself whether anything baffling that your child does has the end result of creating more or less of any of the types of senses.

Examples to Consider

Maybe they’re refusing to play with certain parts of the playground, and you can’t understand why. Is it possible that they’re playing in the shadows — i.e., getting less visual sensory input by avoiding the direct light of the sun?
Maybe they run their hands along the wall, the artwork, the decorations, the banister, etc, as they walk in the hallway at school. Is it possible they’re more tactile (touch) sensory input by interacting with everything they pass by?
Maybe they can never remember to flush the toilet. Is it possible that they’re avoiding the sound — i.e., getting less auditory sensory input by walking out of the bathroom and leaving it unflushed?

Use This to Help Kids Problem Solve

If you notice a pattern in a child’s behavior related to their sensory preferences, you can approach it using a different problem-solving method. You can raise their awareness!

You can help them know that it’s totally normal for people to do things that help them feel better in their sensory body…people are doing this all day long, all the time, constantly.

So, let kids know it’s not “bad” for them to do things that help them feel better in their sensory body. But there might be some reason why they need to adjust the exact method they’re using to solve their problem.

For example, holding a fidget toy while walking in the hallways or covering their ears while they flush the toilet.

What If Kids Can’t Explain Their Sensory Needs?

Depending on your child’s age, developmental level, and language abilities, they may not know the sensory reasons for why they do what they do.

Just like the two children I described above, one of whom can say, “My body just needs to wiggle,” and the other who might say, “This is boring“, we can’t always assume that young children will be able to successfully articulate their own sensory needs to us in common language.

That also means we can’t just jump to assuming that they’re being bad, rude, disrespectful, selfish, etc. if they do something in a childish attempt to meet their own sensory needs!

We have to remind ourselves to “stay curious instead of getting furious” — to slow down and think, “Hmm, this probably has a reason” instead of just assuming that the reason kids do something baffling is with the intent to annoy you or to make you mad.

Make It Fun and Curious

Exploring your or your child’s sensory preferences can be fun if you approach it with this same spirit of curiosity.

Pick a sense and just think of ways to make more or less of that sense:

Go to the store and try sniffing twenty different candles. Which ones do you like, and which ones do you dislike? Or do you hate strong fragrances altogether?
Try different lighting arrangements in the playroom — is it more enjoyable to play with the overhead light on, the windows open, or a lamp?
Are you always willing to try sweet foods or salty foods, or something more textural and less taste-based like crunchy foods or chewy foods?
What kinds of movement feel good: spinning, dancing, swinging, running, swaying?

It takes time to figure out how to make sense of living in our sensory bodies, but it doesn’t have to be scary or daunting to begin figuring them out.

Simply tuning in to the sensory-rich world around us and noticing the patterns of what we move toward and what we move away from is enough to help us start recognizing sensory preferences in ourselves and the people we love.

What If Your Preferences Clash With Your Child’s?

After you start to notice these things about yourself, you may start wondering,

“But what if I prefer things one way and my child prefers them another?“

What if you love having the lights dim and only a lamp on, but your child wants the overhead lights on and the curtains back?

Then, you might be ready to read about how to navigate sensory mismatch — when two or more people share the environment but have different sensory needs!