Simple Tips for Developing Self-Awareness in Kids
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Self-awareness is an important skill and a core component of social-emotional learning that is necessary for recognizing and understanding your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. This article explores the importance of self-awareness and provides simple tips for developing self-awareness in kids.
When children are aware of both what they’re feeling and why they feel that way, they can better regulate their emotions, make choices, problem-solve, advocate for themselves, and relate to others.
Developing self-awareness is a lifelong process; we’re constantly learning and understanding ourselves better. However, with adult guidance, kids can hone in on these skills, benefiting them as they navigate school and social situations.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, thoughts, behaviors, values, and characteristics.
It’s the first step in managing emotions and forming positive relationships with others.
For kids, self-awareness begins with body awareness, like recognizing and understanding cues of hunger and thirst, and basic self-perception skills, such as identifying things they like and dislike.
As they get slightly older, kids start developing emotional awareness, such as identifying and understanding that they’re feeling happy while playing with their friends.
Later, children learn self-reflection, which is the ability to look back on past actions and understand what they felt and why they acted that way.
Elements of Self-Awareness
There are four key elements to self-awareness:
- Emotional Awareness: Recognizing and naming emotions as they occur. For example, a child might know they feel frustrated when a toy isn’t working as expected.
- Self-Perception: Developing an understanding of your own identity, likes, dislikes, and unique strengths and challenges. Kids often express this by saying things like, “I’m good at drawing” or “I don’t like loud noises.“
- Self-Reflection: Looking back on past actions or emotions and understanding why they felt or acted a certain way. For instance, a child reflecting on an argument with a friend might realize they felt left out, which led to their reaction.
- Body Awareness: Recognizing physical sensations in the body, like hunger and thirst, as well as sensations connected to emotions, like a racing heartbeat when angry or a fluttering stomach when nervous.
Self-Awareness Skills
There are a lot of different skills connected to developing self-awareness. You can help kids become more self-aware by helping them learn and practice the following skills:
- Identifying Emotions: Being able to name and describe feelings, starting with basic emotions like happy, sad, and mad, eventually leading to more complex emotions.
- Understanding Triggers: Recognizing situations that bring out strong emotions, such as noticing that loud noises lead to stress or sensory overload.
- Recognizing Strengths and Weaknesses: Knowing what they’re good at and what areas might be challenging.
- Empathy: Realizing that others may have different feelings and reactions.
- Setting Personal Goals: Deciding on ways they want to grow, like learning to handle disappointment calmly.
- Monitoring Self-Talk: Noticing inner thoughts and working on reframing negative ones into more positive statements.
Why Is Self-Awareness Important?
Self-awareness helps kids find success in various areas:
- Emotional Regulation: Kids who understand their emotions can better manage them. For instance, if a child notices they’re feeling frustrated, they can use a calming strategy instead of lashing out.
- Better Relationships: Self-aware kids can communicate more effectively with others, recognize when someone else may be feeling differently, and handle conflicts more constructively. This helps them have more positive relationships with their peers, parents, teachers, etc.
- Resilience: Self-awareness helps kids approach challenges with a growth mindset. Recognizing their strengths helps them have the confidence to keep trying, even when things are difficult.
- Success in Academics and Life: Kids who know their strengths and areas for improvement can set realistic goals and build a stronger sense of self.
- Self-Advocacy: Self-advocacy is the ability to express your needs, desires, boundaries, and necessary accommodations clearly and effectively. Before kids can practice self-advocacy, they must first have self-awareness to understand their needs.
How to Teach Self-Awareness Skills to Kids
You can help kids develop self-awareness in a variety of ways, including using sensory activities, children’s books, visual supports, modelings, and more.
Here are a few practical, easy-to-implement methods for teaching self-awareness skills to children:
Build Their Feelings Vocabulary
Introduce a range of feeling words to expand their emotional vocabulary beyond basics like “happy” or “sad.”
Teachers could incorporate a “feeling of the day” activity in their classrooms where each day, you talk about different feelings and what they mean using a variety of activities and teaching tools such as emotion charts, books, printables, games, etc.
Model Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is probably the most difficult aspect of self-awareness for children to develop. I bet if you ask a child to explain why they made a poor choice, 9 times out of 10, they’ll say, “I don’t know.”
One way to show kids how self-reflection works and to help them start building this advanced skill is by talking about your own emotions, behaviors, and why you made the choices you did.
For example, you might say, “I was feeling overwhelmed when I raised my voice earlier. Next time I feel this way, I’m going to step away for a short break. ” This helps kids see that emotions are normal, that you can look by on your choices and reflect on better ways to manage them next time.
Practice Body Scanning
Teach children to recognize physical cues associated with different emotions.
You can incorporate this as part of a calm-down routine, where they place a hand on their heart or belly to feel their breath, helping them notice how their body feels when calm or upset.
However, it’s important to teach and practice calm-down skills like this when children are calm. Children cannot learn new skills when they’re dysregulated, and their nervous system is engaged.
You may need to practice this skill many times while your child is calm before they’ll be ready to use it when they’re upset. One way to practice is with this easy bio-feedback activity called “How Low Can You Go?”
Storytelling and Role-Playing
Use stories or role-playing to help children think about how they or others might feel in various situations.
When you’re reading to your child, pause and ask them questions like:
- How do you think this character feels?
- Why do you think they made that choice?
- How do you think their choice made others feel?
- What would you do if you were in their situation?
This method builds empathy and supports self-reflection.
Journaling
A Feelings Journal, sometimes called an emotional journal, is a personal record where kids can express and explore their emotions regularly through writing and drawing.
It provides a safe space for them to reflect on their feelings and gain a deeper understanding of their emotional world.
Writing down emotions and events helps kids reflect and track their moods over time, and it can also be a valuable way to start conversations about emotions.
You can download a free printable feelings journal here.
Books on Self-Awareness for Kids
Self-awareness is an important skill that helps kids understand themselves and relate to others. By teaching kids to recognize their emotions, understand their strengths and weaknesses, and reflect on choices and feelings, we give them skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.
With these strategies, you can help kids build self-awareness in a natural and engaging way, supporting them in becoming more self-assured, empathetic, and resilient individuals.
