How to Teach Kids to Tie Their Shoes (Fast!)
Tying Shoes is a Big Skill for Little Fingers!
Tying shoes might seem like a simple task, something you do without even thinking about it… That is, until you try to teach it to your kid.
If you’ve ever watched your child get frustrated halfway through making a “bunny ear”, then you know it’s not a simple task at all.
Shoe-tying is actually one of the most complex self-help tasks kids learn in early childhood.
If this is a skill you’ve been struggling with for a while, this article is about to simultaneously solve your problem and help you understand why shoe tying is so dang hard.
What Skills Are Involved in Tying Shoes?
Tying shoes is more than just making bunny ears and doing some loopty-loops.
It pulls together numerous developmental skills that are all just emerging in early childhood, which is when kids are expected to start figuring this stuff out.
Here’s what your child’s brain and body are working on when they try to tie their shoes:
1. Fine Motor Skills
Fine motor skills are the small, controlled movements of the hands and fingers. These are the skills kids use to:
- Button a shirt
- Turn pages in a book
- Pick up tiny objects between their fingers like beads or cereal
You need fine motor control to be able to tie your shoes, because doing it right (so your shoes stay tied) requires:
- Pinching and gripping the laces firmly (but without pulling too hard)
- Coordinating finger movements to cross, loop, and pull
- Adjusting the tightness so the knot isn’t too tight or too loose
So, if your child struggles with hand strength, finger coordination, or their hands get tired quickly, they are going to find all these tedious requirements overwhelming.
2. Bilateral Coordination
This means using both sides of your body at the same time in a controlled and organized way.
You need bilateral coordination to ride a bike, write or draw, climb on the playground, fasten buttons and zip zippers, and, you guessed it, tie your shoes.
When you’re tying your shoe, you need to:
- Stabilize the lace with one hand while moving the other
- Switch back and forth between dominant and non-dominant hands
- Use both hands together without them mirroring each other
That’s complicated stuff!
Many kids develop bilateral coordination naturally through play. But, even for typically developing kids, it’s still a skill in progress throughout childhood.
3. Visual-Motor Integration
This is how your brain and eyes work together to guide your hands.
If your child can see the shoelace but it seems like they can’t coordinate their fingers to follow the path, they may be struggling with this skill.
Tying shoes requires tracking moving parts, crossing the midline (the center of the body), and using spatial awareness—all at the same time!
4. Motor Planning (Praxis)
Motor planning means you can plan and carry out a movement, in the correct sequence, from beginning to end.
When kids struggle with motor planning, they might know what to do in theory, but get stuck halfway through or reverse steps.
They may pause often, look confused, or say things like “Wait, what do I do next?”
5. Sequencing and Working Memory
There are multiple steps to tying your shoes, and kids need to remember and complete them in the right order.
This takes both:
- Sequencing – knowing what comes first, next, and last
- Working memory – holding those steps in your mind while also physically doing them
If this is challenging for your child, it might help to practice a rhyme or song that helps them remember the sequencing.
6. Postural Stability
Tying your shoes isn’t just a hand task… It’s a whole-body coordination task!
When you tie your shoes, you need to either lean forward to reach your feet or lift your foot up toward your hands. Either way, your body needs to stay balanced and stable while your hands are doing the work.
Your core muscles are doing a lot of behind-the-scenes work to keep you upright, balanced, and steady.
So, if postural stability is a challenge for your child, you might notice them wobbling and shifting around while trying to stay in the right position to tie their shoes or struggling to stay balanced when lifting up one foot.
Try getting them to practice tying their shoes first with their shoe off. This way, your child can focus on the hand movements without needing to stabilize their body.
When they’re ready to move on to tying their shoe while it’s on their foot, practice in positions that provide their body with more support, like seated with one foot up on a low stool or bench.
Why Shoe-Tying Feels So Hard for Neurodivergent Kids
If your child is neurodivergent, they are more likely to struggle with some of the skills listed above.
When this is the case, parents often struggle for years, or even give up entirely, on teaching their kids to tie their shoes.
But, maybe the answer is your child just needs to learn in a different way or at a different pace.
Plus, if your child has a history of negative experiences, they may not even want to try tying their shoes anymore due to the added emotional pressure associated with the task.
When Should Kids Learn to Tie Their Shoes?
Everyone is different and develops the prerequisite skills for tying their shoes at a different pace.
Readiness isn’t about age—it’s about whether those skills are in place.
You might wait if your child:
- Gets frustrated easily
- Still tires quickly from fine motor tasks
- Avoids tasks with multiple steps
- Hasn’t yet developed hand dominance
It’s okay to pause and come back to this skill later, even if other kids your child’s age can tie their shoes. Everybody develops at a different pace.
In the meantime, use alternative options for footwear and incorporate play-based activities into their routines that encourage the necessary skills that they’ll eventually use to tie their shoes.
Adaptations and Alternatives
If tying shoes is not the priority right now, there are other options for your child that still let them feel independent.
- Velcro or hook-and-loop shoes are easier for most kids to manage
- Elastic shoe laces – these look like they’re tied but allow the shoes to slip on.
And for kids who are still building motor skills, you can incorporate activities into play to help:
- Threading beads or lacing toys
- Squeezing putty or using spray bottles
- Drawing shapes in shaving cream or finger paint
These build the same skills without the pressure.
Looking for more fine motor skill activities? Check out this list of 85 play-based activities to support fine motor development.
How to Practice Shoe-Tying in a Positive Way
Make the learning process low-stress and fun.
Don’t pressure your child to learn this skill before they’re ready, or get upset with them if they can’t quite get it right.
Here are a few tips that help:
- Use two-color laces so kids can tell which lace is doing what
- Start with the shoe on a table instead of the foot
- Break it into steps and only practice one step at a time
- Try different methods – there’s no single right way to tie your shoes
- Celebrate effort, not outcome
Teaching Techniques That Work
Pediatric OT, Greg Santucci, has his own tricks for tying shoes that teach many kids in under 5 minutes.
It’s simple, it’s effective, and a total game-changer for tons of the families he works with.
Check out his techniques in the video below:
Remember, learning to tie your shoes is hard.
Some kids will be ready in kindergarten. Others will get there in second or third grade. Some might use adaptive options long-term.
It’s all okay.
What matters most is that your child feels supported, not pressured.
Focus on building the underlying skills.
Keep it light.
Keep it playful.
And know that you’re helping your child become more independent with every single loopty-loop and hoopty-hoop.
This article was written by Nicole Day and reviewed for clinical accuracy by Greg Santucci, Pediatric Occupational Therapist.
